If you’re wondering, this post has been inspired by a few recent conversations had with some of the high-schoolers I have the privilege of sharing life with and by some recent events in the lives of friends.
Recently, many people have revealed in conversation a feeling of uneasiness in regards to their spiritual journey as Christ followers. They have been playing a role. This role can change based on the day and the rest of the cast. Church requires a different role than school. Youth group requires a different character than work. At first glance this all just seems like a classic case of people pleasing. It’s idolatry. How quickly and quietly we can abandon our convictions and adopt the convictions of another for the sake of being acceptable in the eyes of our immediate peers.
It’s easily noticed in conversation when I hear someone say for example “I fell down today during baseball and it hurt like hell, I mean heck! Sorry.” The apology is present because I am present. Many of the “church kids” I interact with, whether as their youth group leader or as another person at church feel like they shouldn’t say those words at church or they shouldn’t say those words to people at church. It’s odd for me because it is clearly a part of their more frequent reality (school mates and after-school mates).
Not to speak against propriety and the concept of a time and place for everything but my question is who are you trying to please? And this is an honest question. I mean if specific words so easily roll off your tongue but then immediately require an apology it would lead me to believe these words generally roll quite easily off your tongue. You apologize because it’s someone from the cast of Church that you are interacting with. And are you apologizing because you think I’m offended or is it because you feel like Christians aren’t to talk that way, which Christian you are (maybe).
I’m really trying not to get caught up on this one example of using “swear” words. I’m trying to lay down the question; is it me you’re trying to please or is it God? Is man’s view of you more important than God’s?
You see, many of these “Christians” are one way at church and another way outside of church, but in reality they are only one way. The other is a sham, an act, a character, and many other synonyms of sham. Now it is not for me to decide which is which in regards to another. It is each of our duty to identify which is which in regards to our selves.
I’d like to introduce you to a personal hero of mine. His name is Spider-Man. I should probably give a shout out to Peter Rollins who planted this thought a few months back.
Spider-Man lives in New York and what a lot of New Yorkers don’t know is that Spiderman has a secret identity. Spider-Man’s secret identity is Peter Parker. Spider-Man has this habit of acting like Peter when he’s around certain people (Aunt May, J.J. Jamieson, Harry Osborn). Now we all know that Peter Parker is Spider-Man. Or is it the other way around? Maybe Spider-Man is Peter Parker. Think about it. Spidey is the one who calls the shots. Even without the red suit, the spidey senses tingle, the webs are still there (Unless you’re reading the comics or watching the animated series), and wall crawling still abounds.
Throughout the Spider-Man narrative, we see his internal struggle with balancing two different identities. There are times where he wishes he could just be Parker. But as mentioned earlier, it’s not the suit that makes Spider-Man. Peter Parker is the fabrication. Spidey pretends to be an average everyday Polo shirt wearing guy with a job at the local newspaper (http://marvel.com/universe/Daily_Bugle). He doesn’t discuss his heroics and he stifles his powers until trouble arrives (which it inevitably does). Peter Parker is an external layer (you’ll see what I mean when trouble shows up. Which it inevitably will.) When Spidey let’s go of the Peter Parker invention and embraces his true identity (Spidentity. Go ahead and copyright that.) that’s when he is most effective against the super villains of New York.
This brings up a whole other identity issue within ourselves. As a Christian, is Jesus our identity that we can hide when deemed “appropriate”? Is God the spidey suit that we want out of our lives unless we’re in trouble? See, again, the suit does not give power. The power is already present within us. However, we must first put on Christ (Galatians 3:27) so that he may abide in us (John 15:4). When we acknowledge that power and let go of our sinful self, we are effective against the evil within us and the evil in this world (John 16:33).
My hope is that we would be able to understand and identify our true identity in Christ (as Christ followers). We are heirs with Him (Romans 8:17). We are sons and daughters of Him. It cannot be changed. Just like the truth of Spider-Man will never be nullified by Peter Parkers attempts, the truth of God in us cannot be nullified by the character we attempt to play.
To get back to the question of people pleasing vs. God pleasing. The answer is simple. Do we apologize and work against certain actions, words, and thoughts only in the company of select people, or do we acknowledge our shortcomings at all times and seek to be holy in times of solitude? If the the former is true, we may be a people pleaser. If the latter is true, you are seeking to please God.
Before I get too deep here and attempt to solve the problems of the universe via blog (Blobrem Solver. Go ahead and forget that. Someone else can copyright it) I’d like to ask a few questions.
To you – What’s your secret identity? What’s your true identity? Do you know?
To me – How can I write about this when I so easily fall into the trap myself?
To God – Why are you so difficult to embrace at times when it feels like we need it most? Are these the trials you spoke of; the ones that give us patience?
To Spider-Man – If you had kids, would they be spidery too? As one married man to another, do you ever use your spider powers in the bedroom?
Let me know.
Peace
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